"In the faraway days where all the animals were very different than they are now, a very different sort of Panda lived in the faraway bamboo jungles of the Orient. You see, dearest best beloved, at that time every single Panda in that exotic stripy-shadowy bamboo jungle was white as the purest snow. And all of those Pandas were very proud of their perfectly white fur, and spent all of their time and energy making sure not a spec of dirt or grime or any sort of obtrusive substance marred it.
One day, one young Panda made the mistake of falling in love. The object of his affections was a stripy felinely-elegant Lady Tiger, whom he considered the most beautiful creature in all the world over. Panda tried to impress her the only way he knew how, which was showing he just how shiny and white and pure his coat was. Tiger snubbed her elegant nose at him in the most refined, neat way possible and summarily rejected his advances.
This depressed unfortunate Panda so much he took to taking long walks in the shadow-spotted bamboo forests, wailing about his conditions to his equally unfortunate brother. On one of these walks, while Panda dramatically mused about the most very supple way Tiger’s tail swayed as she walked, he discovered a lotus growing in the middle of a pond. “Why, that is the most beautiful flower I have ever seen!” Panda cheered, “It is a beautiful as my Tiger! Maybe if I give it to her she will love its beauty, and therefore, me!”
And at this he rushed headlong into the pond. His brother, seeing the murky mushy muddy waters for what they really were—something there to ruin his pure sparkling white coat—tried to pull our Panda back, but was ultimately unsuccessful. "